The Depth of the Masculine Heart; A Letter to My Beloved

March 27, 2014 

My Darling,

And in the sacred path lit by this third surrender, we met.

The depth of your heart astounds me. Only just moments before now did I witness it in such full profundity for the first time. Life, always changing and evolving, like us, is always revealing new nuances, depths, and aspects, if only we are willing to look. And in this moment, I’ve been courageous enough and still enough to allow the depth of your masculine heart to show itself to me.

Always before I felt I saw. Always before I knew and felt connected to the stillness and presence of the masculine essence. But it is now that I see how infinitely deep this stillness is, and that it is a well of pristine love, of invisible, silent, nothingness-love. And it is in moments being born that I will know it even more in this endless journey of deepening the dance.

Its essence is supportive. Is safe and true and worry-free. In it, all chaos melts into unity, into peace. Simply its being is a motionless invitation to the divine feminine to rest, and to rest into oneness with You.

If I would not let the ancient wisdom, the all-knowing energy within to guide me there,  it would have never been found*. Cutting the track of the mind over and over again, bringing myself back to the present moment was the road. Catching myself relaxing into “methods” and “other ways that always work for me” of meditation was the second road. Letting go of all that has been known before and letting the energy of the soul, in connection with the divine** guide the awareness that I am, was the third.

And in the sacred path lit by this third surrender, we met. My awareness revealed itself to be unwavering as this witnessing to this moment, revealed itself to be untempted by the translation of the mind, which could never touch the melting that this is.

The flying, chaotic energy I had considered to be all of me in that moment showed me something else. The depth of my masculine heart opened displayed its openness, and only was it on display because my awareness was focused and willing enough to see. Guided to focus my energy on the right side of my body, (the masculine side), slowly and nobly a deep grounding happened. The masculine energy within was now connected enough with my conscious awareness that it could be allowed to share its magic.

Deeper and deeper this stillness and silence of the masculine heart went, until it was clear this depth is a well of immaculate love. Noticing this, the feminine energy within, still chaotic, connected cellularly to this accepting, safe energy. She let go and rested into the offering, the embrace and the love of the masculine heart.

In this unity, stillness and depth previously considered to be a quiet witnessing presence became more understood in its intriciate-oneness with the chaos I was feeling, and with all I may ever be. To me, this is the “twin flame” many people talk about.

To me, it is clear that the twin flame is within, could only ever be within.

And you, my darling, to think I have already received such depth of love from you… it delights me so to imagine how much more richness I (we!) will enjoy, dance with, and be inspired by because of this moment… and with the cleaning of this mirror, this burgeoning of the love within, I may now receive you more fully. I may now honor and rest in the depth of your heart with more awareness, co-creativity and joy.

And to think, it is just a day of days, a moment of moments, where infinite kisses of the poems that we are reveal this endless, glistening, shining depth in which all is held; in which all is always being offered.